Whether people like us or not is often determined by our behaviour and not who we actually are. It’s our behaviour that they don’t like and don’t want, and they are not necessarily rejecting us.
Just because we’re different doesn’t mean that we are not likeable. People may have difficulty in understanding who we are and be afraid of getting to know us because we’re different. If we’re going to make friends we’re going to need to let people get to know the real us.
It might be our views that others do not like because they do not agree with them. They may feel that their own views are threatened by our views because they are contrary to what they believe. This doesn’t mean that our views are not worth listening to. God accepts us just as we are, even if our views are offensive and hurtful to others.
Other can be prejudice against us, making judgements about are who we are without really getting to know us. View few people spend the time to get to know someone else properly; it’s even more difficult if we don’t let people get close to us for fear of being hurt.
Others don’t have a right to judge us, after all how can they possible know everything about us and why we are the way we are. In any case, who are they to judge? Are they not equally guilt of failings in their own lives? Don’t jump to the conclusion that we’re at fault just because someone else says so.
The other person may just be too busy to give us time and make friends. Or they may think that they are not liked and therefore push us away.
The truth is that you are likeable. Everyone is likeable and loveable. It’s up to us to believe that this is true for us.
God loves us despite all of our failings and all of our ugly behaviours and opinions.
- Concentrate on spending time to listen to other people’s points of view, only giving yours after you’ve listened and thought about what they’ve said. Don’t assume that other people’s opinions are right just because they don’t like yours.
- Try to understand the other person’s point of view, ask them not just what they believe but why they believe it.
- Think about your actions and seek to understand if you have made other people feel uncomfortable. If possible, ask the other person if there is something you’ve done to upset the them. If they are a good friend they will tell you.
- Avoid getting into the trap of justifying your right to be liked by judging others as wrong. Only God has the right to judge us all. Instead seek to understand.
- Don’t seek to attribute blame to yourself or others. Lay it all before God and trust him to guide you in what to do.
I am lonely and upset. It seems as if no-one likes me and I don’t know how to make friends. Help me to be open and accepting of others and not run away at the first sight of trouble.
If there is any offensive way in me then make me aware of it. You alone have the right to judge me. I confess to you that I have not thought about the needs of others but have focused only on my own needs. Will you forgive me.
Thank you for loving me despite all my failings. You made me just the way I am and you take delight in me – your creation. I know that you are with me and will never leave me. You will carry out your purposes in my life as I trust in you.
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
"Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge… but love your neighbour as yourself" Leviticus 19:18
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
"Since you are precious and honoured in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life." Isaiah 43:4